LEARNING TO BE A FAMILY

JUNE 28 - MONDAY
Yesterday morning, we were able to meet the rest of the parents in our group. We sat around and had breakfast together and then went on a little outing before our meeting with Almaz. Basically, we just drove around and visited this place that had caged lions.  It did help to keep my mind off of our meeting with the boys later.

Around 2:30, after we completed our paperwork, we headed over to Hannah's Hope. We were the first to meet our boys because they were the oldest. I have some video that we will post later...but our meeting was actually pretty awesome. Derbe and Chernet came around the corner of the building -- Derbe was yelling something at us, waving, and tugging the hand of the adult that was escorting them over to us. Apparently, they weren't walking fast enough...he was seriously excited. Chernet is less verbal, but such a sweet boy...really smiley unless you take something from him or try to put him Dow for a nap.

Anyway, a few minutes after we met, Derbe kept saying the Amharic (the boys have picked up a surprisingly amount of Amharic) word for car and trying to get us to follow him. He took us back to our van, got in, and wouldn't budge. He badly wanted to go, but Aaron eventually coaxed him out so that we wouldn't have to spend 40 minutes sitting in the van.  The video I posted on FB was footage in the van right after we left Hannah's Hope.

When we returned, the boys were just sitting on the couch eating (they are always eating) and Derbe started to cry. It's like reality hit at the flip of a switch. He would not let us get near him, he stood by the hotel room door facing away from us and just wailed. It was so sad. Just incredibly heartbreaking and I cry everytime I think about it. All you can do is just sit there and become more and more angry that ANY child has to go through this. These kids have been though so much trauma by losing their parents...it just makes me sick.

Chernet definitely shows signs if grief, but it's different...his a bit more superficial--like he just hates the blanket we brought for him--he flips out if he sees that we put it near him and I think it's just because it's not like the one he had at HH.

The boys won't eat any of the foods they are used to.  We ordered Ethiopian food last night and they wouldn't even come near us until we put it away. So, so much for a well-rounded diet because they won't eat anything but fruit snacks and cereal. We ordered sone French fries for lunch today and Derbe tried one dipped in ketchup. He immediately spit it up. Aaron and I know enough by now not to force food at all because then the boys become very obstinate. Instead we just poured them some cereal and started chowing down and eventually the boys joined us and they happen to love fries and ketchup. Not too happy about that, but at least we've added some variety to their diets.

The boys, especially Derbe, really seem to be able to pick things up quickly. Derbe's learned to share today. Big break through. We are still working on what to do when the boys fight over things. Really, they see that if things cause conflict, they go away for a while. Just takes lots of empathetic cuddling afterwards.  And so much patience and constraint and consistency. Ugh, it is very hard.

But then, we have these fabulous moments like when they want to cuddle, when they learn a new word, when they giggle...

I can't wait to get home. I think that's really where we will start seeing the healing process progress. It will be ugly, but at least it will be a step forward.

Thanks for all of your prayers. Please keep them coming. I knew that having kids would reveal a lot of my personal flaws, but not quite to this extent. I think it's impossible to have kids and not become a better human being...

SEEING ADDIS PICS

A couple pics from today that go with the entry below.

SEEING ADDIS

I'm really tired, but wanted to attempt to post something today because I just know that this is probably our last day with time on our hands.  We basically spent a few hours with Solomon, the taxi driver, today.  He drove us around and showed us important buildings like the palace, theatre, landmarks, etc.  We saw Lucy's bones and a ton of other artifacts as well.

There's a time set aside for families to take their child (or children) back to Hannah's Hope for a couple hours while parents go out and shop, but we know that with our guys, that might not be such a good idea.  I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but we both really wanted to make sure that we got out and around Addis.  We also wanted to be sure to pick up some items that are representative of Ethiopian culture that we can incorporate into our lives.  So...Solomon took us to a couple shops, which was extremely helpful since we have no idea what we are doing (despite all of our reading...didn't seem to payoff...we just know random pieces of Ethiopian history and stuff...definitely not helpful for social interaction).

Afterwards, he took us to his village and we visited with his family.  So cool!  Really, he lives in a shack surrounded by other shacks with puddles all around that smelled like human waste.  Which might explain the incense burning.  He introduced us to his wife and two sons and then asked us to sit while his wife roasted beans to prepare fresh coffee.  The process took about 20 minutes or so.  It was really awesome to see the interactions of his family -- you can tell they love one another and care for each other.  At one point, he said, "As long as you have love, everything is good."  AND I know that...it's just different when you think about it while you're sitting in a shack, with a coughing seven-year-old who hides his coins in a box, under the couch so that one day when he's a doctor, he can buy medical supplies.  They brought out a small box of books and a letter that was sent to them by some other adoptive parents to show us...they treasure such simple, important things -- it makes it easy to see how all of our "stuff" is sometimes NOT a blessing, but a barrier that we put between ourselves and others, ourselves and God...

We'll have to load pictures later... :) Tomorrow's the BIG day!

HANGING AT THE RIVIERA

Okay, this is my last attempt to post an update...don't know if it will work.  Only FB works, but I know that many of you who are waiting for info don't frequent FB.

 

We flew into Addis on Thursday night, so we're coming to the close of our first full day in Addis. It's rainy! Which is actually quite the comfort for me...coming from the NW. :) I can't even express how awesome it feels to finally be here--to get unpacked and settle in--knowing that we're not leaving without being forever changed! Two more days until we meet our little guys!

Our room is on the busy street, but across the street, there's this huge open field...today, a group of kids were at soccer practice. When it started downpouring, some of them started sliding around in the mud and doing cartwheels...soooo cute. Tomorrow, we're going on a city tour fully anticipating that we'll miss the shopping time next week. Can't wait to see more!

I know that many of you guys are praying for our group -- thank you!  I'll try to post pics...but so far, my attempts have been futile.  FB is the only place I can do it.  Weird?  Yup.

Shower Time!

Oh, how I loved seeing pics of my boys all over the place...sorry, still can't post them. :)

Opening presents in front of people is torture for me, but not when I have a couple cute kids helping me out!  :)

So, one of the coolest things about our shower is that people contributed to a fund in honor of our little guys.  This money was enough to "adopt" three widows for a year so that they will receive education, training, and support in developing an income.  How awesome is that?!

Adoption is a wonderful thing, but it isn't THE solution to the orphan crisis.  We can adopt all that we want, but unless we ALSO step up and partner with the mothers, fathers, doctors, teachers, and community and spiritual leaders who can make a difference BEFORE children become orphaned, each day countless more precious children will be relinquished by a loving, selfless parents so that they can hope for a better future for these children.  Like a meal...every day.  Countless more will be left without a mom or dad to care for them because of disease that could and would otherwise be immediately and easily be irradicated...if only they were born in another country.    

Thanks so much for all of  you who celebrated with us!  And, a special thanks for those of you that planned this shower for us. :)  We know that so many of you are so anxious to see these boys home!

SMITH-MADE DISASTER

Okay, so today, I stopped and looked around and had to laugh.  There is SO MUCH to do and this is now what I live in.  Okay, honestly, it's been this way for a few days.  Anyway, I'm posting these pics because they are funny.  It's THAT bad.

Yes, that's my marvelous husband putting together a slideshow for his kids at midnight.  One might wonder how he does that work while buried deep in cups, trash, paper, etc.  Well, it's the superman pajamas.  Get yourself a pair.

What you can't see in these pictures are two loaves of bread on the floor.  One completely whole and the other completely empty.  That's because we have a silly dog who likes to steal food, but he's picky when it comes to bread.  Love him...

AND yet, there is an oasis in exactly ONE location in this household.  It's right here...Don't you love our priorities? :)

I'm working on these things for tomorrow's celebration...inspired by an old teammate of mine.  Aren't these awesome?  I'm working on the labels right now that I'll modge podge on...probably at 2 a.m. because that's they way adoptive parents roll.  We're so tired we can't clean either.  Did I mention that Aaron and his teammates took over 200 12-year-olds to Wild Waves today?  Good thing for those superman pants.  Anyway, here are my soon-to-be-finished (I hope) medals...thank you gold spray paint!

 

Okay, one last thing...I went to FIVE different stores to try to find undies for my sweet boys.  Finally, Kohls came to the rescue!  Thank you for having underwear or, at least thank you for putting it where it can be found.  Seriously.  I was so desperate that I violated a household no-no.  Had to buy clothes with a gimmick or whatever...I hope wonder pets are good role models.  Whatever those guys are.  My favorite though, is this pair below from the Cars set.  SO cute! 

SOOOO SOOOON!

I'm off work, but still busy packing up my room, grading, and preparing for travel!  So here's the update in list form:

1. Kids cost money.  
2. We have no clue about parenting under the age of 10.
3. This is fun.
4. The Smith men finished the sandbox...well, sort of.  We just need to put the sand in it now.  It's RAD.
5. Our co-ed "shower" this weekend was awesome.  More later.
6. Bought our plane tickets since the last time we updated.  Yay!
7. Had our travel conference call today.  Rule #1: Be prepared for rejection! Fun, yeah?
8. I have like 12 books to read!  Ugh!  Wish I could just take a "Now You're Prepared" pill.  Maybe it would just be more like a "Now You Can Feel Prepared" pill.
9. We are spending a couple days in Amsterdam to appease my insatiable appetite for time in Europe. And, it'll be nice to recover from the long flight in a time zone that's closer to our ultimate destination. :)
10. This time has been the best part of the entire process.  I know it's tougher for some people, but I just feel giddy and I'm actually enjoying this time to prepare.  Even though I'm clueless.
11. The boys are so stinkin' cute!  I hope they don't hate us. 
12. We're leaving in less than a week. Don't rob my house.  It won't be empty.  Honestly, there's not much you'd enjoy anyway.  Books.  Paint.  Dirty laundry.  Dog hair.  That's about it!
13. Check out this cool art that one of my old students made for us. There's one more that she's finishing up.  Aren't these awesome?!  The greenish one is a bit harder to see because of the reflection, but it's a map of the region the boys are from behind an acacia tree.  LOVE these!!!  They are so special and unique.  Can't wait to see the third one!  We only know it has a world map background and left the rest to her.

TRAVEL MAKES ME HAPPY

So...we got the long-awaited (okay, not really that long considering all the other waiting we've done) call with our travel dates.  Love, love, love that we will be there with our boys in no time at all!  Just hoping for negative TB results and then we'll be confirmed for the embassy date in June.  :)  Sounds like there are currently six other families traveling for the same embassy date.  Can't wait to meet them in "real" life! 

We received an update on the boys today too.  They've both gained about 4 pounds since arriving at our agency's transition home in mid-April.  Here's another little note about them:

Both are pretty good eaters and they usually try everything. They tend to like Ethiopian food mostly. The boys know each other really well and they are very close and like to play with each other. D**** likes to be sure his brother is within his sight.

Yes, not very much information, but like I suppose any parent would, I savor every little bit we get!  I just can't wait to show you all some of these pictures.  They are amazing.  Adorable.  Quiet.  Silly.  And our little guy drools...A LOT.  Cracks me up.  Check it out...

By the way, how cool is it that we will get to visit Ethiopia?!  SO excited!